


Correct Beetlejuice: the Musical Quotes

by GothicDeetz



Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi, Randomness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26199232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicDeetz/pseuds/GothicDeetz
Summary: Beetlejuicifying quotes I find.
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Charles Deetz & Delia Deetz & Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Charles Deetz/Delia Deetz
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr, Totally Correct Beetlejuice Quotes, in which some of these can be found.

**Adam:** Sometimes you just fuck a demon. Have a one night stand with an age old malevolent entity. Maybe even sometimes that blossoms into more. Life’s just like that occasionally. Like that’s just how it is.

* * *

 **The Maitlands:** So no one notices or knows we’re dead?

 **Betelgeuse:** Yep.

* * *

 **Betelgeuse:** I’m the ghost with the most-

 **Barbara: *smugly*** Issues.

**Betelgeuse: *gasps***

**Adam:** Barb’s not wrong, but...

**Adam: *gasps as well***

* * *

**Lydia:** I pretend I’m all edgy but in reality, I go to bed at 7:30.

 **Barbara:** No offense, but no one thought you were edgy in the first place.

* * *

 **Barbara:** I’m tired of being nice. I wanna go apeshit.

* * *

 **Betelgeuse: *about Lydia*** Your daughter threw a knife at me. It missed my head by three inches.

 **Charles:** Yeah, she has to work on her aim.

* * *

 **Barbara: *pointing at Lydia*** Who is this sassy teen?

* * *

 **Lydia:** What’s up with you?

 **Betelgeuse:** What do you mean?

 **Lydia:** You’ve been nice, helpful, and considerate all day. What’s your game?

* * *

 **Delia:** Have you ever relaxed?

 **Charles:** Once. It made me very stressed.

* * *

 **Barbara:** I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage filled ghost I know.

* * *

 **Delia: *in the middle of the night*** Well, when life gives you lemons-

* * *

 **Lydia:** People who sleep without socks on make me worry.

 **Charles:** People who sleep with socks on are not to be trusted.

 **Adam:** People who sleep are weird.

 **Betelgeuse:** I was a sock once.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these can be found on my tumblr, Totally Correct Beetlejuice Quotes!

**Betelgeuse:** I blame myself.

 **Everyone else:** We blame you too.

* * *

 **Delia:** I’ve called you all here because some of us don’t seem to get along.

 **Lydia:** My dad and I are literally the only ones you called here.

* * *

 **Lydia:** I just want to do cool teenager stuff like going to parties and arson.

* * *

 **Charles:** Rules are made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

 **Adam:** Uh, piñatas.

 **Lydia:** Glow sticks.

 **Barbara:** Karate boards.

 **Delia:** Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

* * *

 **Lydia:** I wish I could block people in real life.

 **Adam:** Restraining order.

 **Betelgeuse: *in the background*** Murder.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These can be found on my tumblr, Totally Correct Beetlejuice Quotes!

**Betelgeuse: *to the disgruntled Maitland-Deetzes at 4am*** What? Oh so roosters are the only ones who are allowed to start the day by screaming?

* * *

 **Delia:** Just close your eyes and think about your happiest moments.

 **Lydia:** My what now?

* * *

 **Delia:** Strength is forgiving someone who was never really sorry.

 **Lydia:** Not to be overdramatic but I’d literally rather die.

* * *

 **Lydia:** I prevented a murder today.

 **Barbara:** That’s awesome! How’d you do that?

 **Lydia:** Self control.

* * *

 **Delia:** Do you have any healthy stress outlets?

 **Lydia:** Screaming.

 **Betelgeuse:** Murder.

 **Betelgeuse:** Manipulation.

 **Delia:**...

 **Delia:** Okay, so, we have screaming...

* * *

 **Lydia:** Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost.

 **Barbara:** That’s called murder and I heard it’s illegal.

* * *

 **Lydia:** The best revenge is being nice.

 **Betelgeuse:** ***shouting from the next room over*** OR MURDER!!!

* * *

 **Lydia:** Murder is never the answer.

 **Betelgeuse:** Murder is a question.

 **Betelgeuse:** And the answer is yes.

* * *

 **Adam:** I love murder mysteries.

 **Betelgeuse: *trying his best to impress Adam*** I’ve been a suspect in, like, four murder cases.

* * *

 **Betelgeuse:** The first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself.

* * *

 **Lydia:** Don’t fear death, fear the state in which you will die!

 **Delia: *horrified, whispering*** Connecticut.

* * *

 **Delia:** What state do you live in?

 **Lydia:** Constant anxiety.

 **Charles:** Denial!

 **Barbara:** Perfection.

 **Adam:** Connecticut?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These can be found on my tumblr, Totally Correct Beetlejuice Quotes!

**Lydia:** I’m the 1930s.

 **Delia:** Explain.

 **Lydia:** The Great Depression.

* * *

 **Delia:** Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad?

 **Lydia:** Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.

 **Betelgeuse:** Smad.

* * *

 **Barbara:** Words that end in “ie” sound so adorable like “sweetie” and “cookie”.

 **Delia:** And “cutie”.

 **Lydia:** Or “die”.

**Barbara and Delia:**

**Lydia:** 😏

* * *

**Betelgeuse: *kicks door in, panicked***

**Barbara:** What did you do?

 **Betelgeuse:** Nobody died!!!

 **Barbara:** What kind of answer is that?

* * *

 **Barbara:** You can’t just set all your problems on fire.

 **Lydia:** You’d be surprised how many things are flammable.

* * *

 **Adam: *walks into the kitchen*** Is something burning?

 **Betelgeuse:** Nope. Just my burning desire for you.

 **Adam:** Mr. Geuse, the microwave is on fire.

* * *

 **Lydia:** I’m the kind of person who thinks things through.

 **Barbara:** Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.

* * *

 **Barbara:** Is there any particular reason why the bathtub is on fire?

 **Lydia: *excited*** Science!!!

 **Barbara:** Fair enough.

* * *

 **Barbara:** Stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.

 **Lydia:** But what if something else happens just this one time.


End file.
